July 29, 2024
How To Keep Your Head When Everyone Is Losing Theirs
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That Solo Life Episode 259: How To Keep Your Head When Everyone Is Losing Theirs
In this EpisodeToday’s episode of "That Solo Life," features an honest discussion about the challenges of the modern workforce and how Solo PR Pros can successfully navigate the toxicity and stress that has become all too prevalent.
Corporate employees are faced with overwhelming demands and pressures -from mandatory office returns to being burdened with more work and fewer people - the landscape is filled with challenges that impact not only employees but also independent consultants that serve these organizations.
Karen and Michelle emphasize the importance of self-care and setting boundaries in the face of workplace toxicity. They address the need to prioritize mental well-being, streamline work schedules, and find activities that bring joy and renewal. By focusing on doing good work and avoiding getting entangled in office politics, we can maintain a healthier balance and preserve our energy.
Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal experiences and insights on how to handle difficult situations with clients and colleagues. They stress the significance of recognizing what we can control and letting go of what we cannot, especially when faced with internal power struggles and conflicts.
Listeners are encouraged to prioritize their well-being, stay positive, and remain focused on their work amidst external stressors.
Please join us for more discussions on "That Solo Life" and remember to share your stories and feedback with us at soloprpro.com. Thank you for tuning in, and until next time, take care and stay resilient in the face of life's challenges.
Episode Highlights
- Navigating Work Challenges : 00:00:52-00:01:24
- Challenges of Detachment : 00:01:39-00:01:49
- Strategies for Self-Care : 00:04:25-00:05:18
- Importance of Boundaries : 00:05:18-00:05:29
- Finding Joy and Renewal : 00:06:03-00:07:49
- Maintaining Focus on Good Work : 00:08:02-00:09:44
- Dealing with Toxicity : 00:10:05-00:10:36
- Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self : 00:11:05-00:11:16
- Maintaining Positive Attitude : 00:13:37-00:13:48
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That Solo Life Episode 259: How to Keep Your Head When Everyone is Losing Theirs
Michelle Kane [00:03.103]-[00:15.965]: Thank you for joining us for this episode of That Solo Life, the podcast for PR pros and marketers who work for themselves. People like me, Michelle Kane with Voice Matters, and my wonderful co-host, Karen Swim of Solo PR Pro.
Karen Swim, APR [00:15.965]-[00:22.546]: How are you today, Karen? I am doing really well, Michelle. Thank you for asking. How are you?
Michelle Kane [00:22.546]-[00:28.187]: I'm doing well, yeah. Despite everything happening all around us, I'm doing well.
Karen Swim, APR [00:28.187]-[00:42.281]: Yeah, this July has been such a fast month when this episode hits. we will be at the very end of it. And I cannot believe it. Wasn't it just the 4th of July?
Michelle Kane [00:42.281]-[01:39.085]: I think so. I'm pretty sure it was. I was just making macaroni salad or something. And the next thing I know, it's the end of the month. And it's just been, I mean, well, if you're listening to this, you know lots of things happening out there. Among them are just people trying to get through their workday. So much has happened, especially on the corporate side of things. I know in Philadelphia, the mayor has ordered everyone back to the office, everyone. So that's been fun for them, not really. But even with staffing and things, we just thought we would dig in a little bit on how do we as independent consultants and small agencies navigate these times because we're working with people who are going through this and how does that impact what we do and how we can best be of service and just honestly get through it?
Karen Swim, APR [01:39.085]-[02:09.907]: Yeah, that's such a big question, isn't it? It feels like So many people are beaten down by work. They just, you see it, you see the fatigue, you see them. You know, we talked, I believe it was last week about the great detachment. You see it. Um, but you, and you also see some of the toxicity bubbling up to the surface and it's challenging. We have to interact with corporate America.
Michelle Kane [02:10.704]-[03:31.594]: Yeah, it certainly is. And, you know, some sectors are seeing some layoffs or just even so, I mean, with the detachment, I mean, someone has to pick up the slack for those who are either consciously or just, you know, you may just be at the end of it, of your rope at the moment, just like, oh, I just don't have 100% to give right now. Just with the things that we all go through in life and you know, as a person working outside of these organizations, you still have questions that need to be answered. You still have deadlines to meet. You still have to keep the plan moving forward. And I know for many, sometimes that plan is now changing as you go. Sometimes, as I know you've experienced, Karen, new players come in and it just really slows things down and puts a wrench into things. And it's, let's face it, it's just challenging for us right now, which can in some ways lead to a drag for us. I know for me, even on a small scale, if I don't get answers to questions that I need, it really de-energizes you to a certain extent. It's a challenge to keep your energy up and be positive. Hey, this is great. Let's move forward. If only I could know which way we're going.
Karen Swim, APR [03:31.594]-[05:30.931]: I completely agree. And it's interesting that we hear the phrase daily from so many people that life is lifing. And so when we're in this environment, when life is lifing for all of us, there is, you know, there's a two-step process to dealing with the toxicity in the corporate workforce.
There's first, of course, that old advice that still holds true of putting on your own oxygen mask. So we have to figure out the strategies that are going to keep us at peace and mentally well. And sometimes that takes a little bit of work and a little bit of outside support to figure out, OK, what strategies do I need to keep me enthusiastic and to keep me feeling that vitality that I need to bring to my work?
And unfortunately, I believe in times past, we had a stronger support system so that we weren't carrying the water all alone. Now, it almost feels like it's every person for themselves because everyone has so much that you really have to figure it out for yourself. And so it can really feel sometimes like you're bailing water with a teaspoon. And so I think the first step for solos is step one, take care of yourself. And this could mean a number of things. It could mean figuring out a more streamlined work schedule so that you have built in more time to recharge. Bring some efficiency into your work processes so that you alleviate some of the pressure. And accepting that these things are not great and not fine, but putting them in that box of, this is work. It's not your whole entire life. then you have to have those boundaries where you don't let the feelings, the stressors, and the activities spill over into your whole life.
Michelle Kane [05:30.931]-[06:23.137]: Oh, that's a big one. That is, that is huge. And I think especially in our line of work, because even when we're not trying, let me say this a different way, even when we're actively trying not to think about work, invariably we always are because we'll, We'll see a commercial that reminds us of a great idea for a campaign or blah, blah, blah. And yeah, that is a tough one to compartmentalize. I know I challenged myself with it. And sometimes I just say to myself, okay, right in this minute, right in the next five hours or this weekend, there is nothing that I can do no matter what. So let's just try to enjoy, you know, do things you enjoy, do what you need to do, just consciously actively try and put it aside until, you know, you know that it's a time and space where you can pick it up again.
Karen Swim, APR [06:24.366]-[07:51.900]: And it's, it's a muscle that needs to be worked, right? You have to build that muscle. I think one thing that I have found that has helped me is to do it in shorter bursts. Cause I've gotten a lot better at it and I, you know, weekends come and I'm, I'm done. And I actually don't work Fridays. Um, most of the time, sometimes I, you know, do a little cleanup work or I have to have a meeting, but. I've gotten so much better about just shutting it off and giving myself that time to breathe. One thing that I would encourage solos to do is to find something that brings you absolute joy, whatever that might be. Maybe it's, you know, going to hear live music, maybe it's knitting, maybe it's cooking, maybe it's golfing, whatever that thing is. When you are doing that thing, it just brings you ridiculous joy or peace and you love doing it. Make sure to work that into your life routinely, whatever that thing is, because when we are doing things that fulfill us, then we're relieving the stress from the other part of our life and we're locked in. And so that gives you that space and that time, even if it's just an hour, maybe it's a workout class that you absolutely love and you go for an hour. That hour is yours. So you have to really claim that space and that time for yourself to do things that really energize you and renew you because we're not going to get that from external sources.
Michelle Kane [07:52.426]-[08:18.108]: Now it's true. And it's so, so important that you do that because that replenishes you, that fills you up with what you need to keep going. Because as we've said time and time again, we only have a finite amount of energy and we need to keep sustaining that and, and making sure that we do get a good refill. Otherwise you're, you're literally going to be spent and that's, you're no good for anybody.
Karen Swim, APR [08:18.108]-[10:42.409]: And you know, I think a lot of PR pros are probably empaths. And so we take on, we feel more deeply than other people do. We want to solve everyone's problems. I also think that in this day and age, you really do have to find a way to create a boundary between you and the problems of corporate America.
You really just have to go in with the mindset of, I just want to do good work. I want to do good work and that's what I'm here for. I'm not here to fix this person's issue with, you know, the C-suite. I'm not here to navigate the spats that are happening between the executives. I'm here to do good work. And when you keep the focus on doing good work and navigating that path and not getting caught up in the politics that are happening in the workforce, you really will have a healthier balance and you won't be taking that stress on.
And again, this is something that does require you to actively manage it. It's not something that will passively happen. You have to really be intentional about being in that place where you're like, you know what, these are my clients, this is a job, and while I might like these people as human beings, their problems are really not my problems, and I'm not here to solve that.
I'm here to do great work, and sometimes that even means calling things out and being very direct with clients, you know, and saying things like, you know, I really don't want to get involved in whatever is going on between you and this person. But tell me, you know, how I can achieve the goal. You know, I'm here to do great work for you, and I'm excited about that. Tell me what steps I need to take to ensure that I am fulfilling that role and doing what's expected of me. And keep the focus on your work, not on the personality clashes and all the things that are happening. And those things are happening more frequently because, as you said, Michelle, we have fewer people. But the work still has to get done. We have people that have been forced back into working situations that they don't like We have people that are in a job not because they are excited about it and want to do it but just because they feel stuck and they're like, yeah, I need the money here and they just They don't want to be there.
Michelle Kane [10:42.409]-[11:26.009]: It's so true. So true and it and I think a big step in achieving that those boundaries is is having a serious conversation with yourself What can I control here and what can't I we can't control how? how clients think or how you know their counterparts think or what they do or we truly can't so control what you can control and Let the rest Just let the rest roll out there really isn't there's only so much power that we have so a lot of sometimes the you know, the mental grinding that we might do, it really isn't productive and it just wears you out.
Karen Swim, APR [11:26.009]-[12:46.243]: And I would say, I want to make an important distinction because this comes up a fair bit. That doesn't mean that you're not, that you're ignoring when the toxicity is turned towards you. So you don't, you are not obligated to stay in client relationships that do not serve you, where people are abusive to you, where people are undermining you in spite of your best efforts.
We're not, I always say, forget about the money, save yourself and walk away because doors will open for you. You will figure it out. Things will be fine. And, but we are saying that when there's that internal, like the internal power plays and some of the things that are happening between other people, we can not engage in those situations and keep the focus on the work and getting the work done and ignore the rest of it.
And I've learned, because I'm, you know, I've had to encounter those situations in recent times as well. And I've learned to just have a good sense of humor about it. And take a step back and go, wow, you know, it makes me more grateful then I'm not in corporate America. It's a great reminder and it's actually very motivating. Like, girl, stay on your business development game because that life is not for me. I am not about that life.
Michelle Kane [12:46.243]-[12:51.985]: Yeah, I don't wanna deal with that. I'm so glad I don't have to sit next to that person.
Karen Swim, APR [12:51.985]-[13:01.827]: Some of the stressors that people that work traditionally, I applaud you. You are braver than I am because I could not.
Michelle Kane [13:04.202]-[13:08.926]: Yeah, a lot of times it's really just silly stuff. They're just like, really?
Karen Swim, APR [13:08.926]-[13:10.448]: It's always silly stuff.
Michelle Kane [13:10.448]-[13:15.272]: Come on now. I think someone needs to fill the candy jar in your office because you guys are being so cranky.
Karen Swim, APR [13:15.900]-[13:58.113]: Yeah, in the big scheme of things, it really never amounts to much. And, and I mean, I understand that people, and sometimes they feel like they're fighting for their livelihood, for their careers, for their growth and opportunity. But again, as solos, we can remove ourselves from, you know, trying to fix that. That's not our job. We are not their career counselors. I know that sometimes We've stepped into that role, but in today's day and age, again, keep the focus on the work and doing great work. Keep your positive attitude and don't let these people affect you because life is going to life for all of us and we have enough on our plates. We don't need to take on extra.
Michelle Kane [13:58.728]-[14:39.072]: No, we certainly do. We certainly do. And gosh, well, we hope this has been helpful to you today. If it has, please share it around. That's the biggest compliment you can pay us. And hit us up at soloprpro.com. We always want to hear from you. Tell us your fun experiences. Maybe we'll share them in the next episode and say, oh my gosh, can you believe that? And you know what, and how you handled it. We would love to hear some stories from out there. And you know, if there's anything you want us to cover, please also let us know. Go over to soloprpro.com and let us know about that. And until next time, thanks so much for listening to That Solo Life.
Michelle Kane [00:03.103]-[00:15.965]: Thank you for joining us for this episode of That Solo Life, the podcast for PR pros and marketers who work for themselves. People like me, Michelle Kane with Voice Matters, and my wonderful co-host, Karen Swim of Solo PR Pro.
Karen Swim, APR [00:15.965]-[00:22.546]: How are you today, Karen? I am doing really well, Michelle. Thank you for asking. How are you?
Michelle Kane [00:22.546]-[00:28.187]: I'm doing well, yeah. Despite everything happening all around us, I'm doing well.
Karen Swim, APR [00:28.187]-[00:42.281]: Yeah, this July has been such a fast month when this episode hits. we will be at the very end of it. And I cannot believe it. Wasn't it just the 4th of July?
Michelle Kane [00:42.281]-[01:39.085]: I think so. I'm pretty sure it was. I was just making macaroni salad or something. And the next thing I know, it's the end of the month. And it's just been, I mean, well, if you're listening to this, you know lots of things happening out there. Among them are just people trying to get through their workday. So much has happened, especially on the corporate side of things. I know in Philadelphia, the mayor has ordered everyone back to the office, everyone. So that's been fun for them, not really. But even with staffing and things, we just thought we would dig in a little bit on how do we as independent consultants and small agencies navigate these times because we're working with people who are going through this and how does that impact what we do and how we can best be of service and just honestly get through it?
Karen Swim, APR [01:39.085]-[02:09.907]: Yeah, that's such a big question, isn't it? It feels like So many people are beaten down by work. They just, you see it, you see the fatigue, you see them. You know, we talked, I believe it was last week about the great detachment. You see it. Um, but you, and you also see some of the toxicity bubbling up to the surface and it's challenging. We have to interact with corporate America.
Michelle Kane [02:10.704]-[03:31.594]: Yeah, it certainly is. And, you know, some sectors are seeing some layoffs or just even so, I mean, with the detachment, I mean, someone has to pick up the slack for those who are either consciously or just, you know, you may just be at the end of it, of your rope at the moment, just like, oh, I just don't have 100% to give right now. Just with the things that we all go through in life and you know, as a person working outside of these organizations, you still have questions that need to be answered. You still have deadlines to meet. You still have to keep the plan moving forward. And I know for many, sometimes that plan is now changing as you go. Sometimes, as I know you've experienced, Karen, new players come in and it just really slows things down and puts a wrench into things. And it's, let's face it, it's just challenging for us right now, which can in some ways lead to a drag for us. I know for me, even on a small scale, if I don't get answers to questions that I need, it really de-energizes you to a certain extent. It's a challenge to keep your energy up and be positive. Hey, this is great. Let's move forward. If only I could know which way we're going.
Karen Swim, APR [03:31.594]-[05:30.931]: I completely agree. And it's interesting that we hear the phrase daily from so many people that life is lifing. And so when we're in this environment, when life is lifing for all of us, there is, you know, there's a two-step process to dealing with the toxicity in the corporate workforce.
There's first, of course, that old advice that still holds true of putting on your own oxygen mask. So we have to figure out the strategies that are going to keep us at peace and mentally well. And sometimes that takes a little bit of work and a little bit of outside support to figure out, OK, what strategies do I need to keep me enthusiastic and to keep me feeling that vitality that I need to bring to my work?
And unfortunately, I believe in times past, we had a stronger support system so that we weren't carrying the water all alone. Now, it almost feels like it's every person for themselves because everyone has so much that you really have to figure it out for yourself. And so it can really feel sometimes like you're bailing water with a teaspoon. And so I think the first step for solos is step one, take care of yourself. And this could mean a number of things. It could mean figuring out a more streamlined work schedule so that you have built in more time to recharge. Bring some efficiency into your work processes so that you alleviate some of the pressure. And accepting that these things are not great and not fine, but putting them in that box of, this is work. It's not your whole entire life. then you have to have those boundaries where you don't let the feelings, the stressors, and the activities spill over into your whole life.
Michelle Kane [05:30.931]-[06:23.137]: Oh, that's a big one. That is, that is huge. And I think especially in our line of work, because even when we're not trying, let me say this a different way, even when we're actively trying not to think about work, invariably we always are because we'll, We'll see a commercial that reminds us of a great idea for a campaign or blah, blah, blah. And yeah, that is a tough one to compartmentalize. I know I challenged myself with it. And sometimes I just say to myself, okay, right in this minute, right in the next five hours or this weekend, there is nothing that I can do no matter what. So let's just try to enjoy, you know, do things you enjoy, do what you need to do, just consciously actively try and put it aside until, you know, you know that it's a time and space where you can pick it up again.
Karen Swim, APR [06:24.366]-[07:51.900]: And it's, it's a muscle that needs to be worked, right? You have to build that muscle. I think one thing that I have found that has helped me is to do it in shorter bursts. Cause I've gotten a lot better at it and I, you know, weekends come and I'm, I'm done. And I actually don't work Fridays. Um, most of the time, sometimes I, you know, do a little cleanup work or I have to have a meeting, but. I've gotten so much better about just shutting it off and giving myself that time to breathe. One thing that I would encourage solos to do is to find something that brings you absolute joy, whatever that might be. Maybe it's, you know, going to hear live music, maybe it's knitting, maybe it's cooking, maybe it's golfing, whatever that thing is. When you are doing that thing, it just brings you ridiculous joy or peace and you love doing it. Make sure to work that into your life routinely, whatever that thing is, because when we are doing things that fulfill us, then we're relieving the stress from the other part of our life and we're locked in. And so that gives you that space and that time, even if it's just an hour, maybe it's a workout class that you absolutely love and you go for an hour. That hour is yours. So you have to really claim that space and that time for yourself to do things that really energize you and renew you because we're not going to get that from external sources.
Michelle Kane [07:52.426]-[08:18.108]: Now it's true. And it's so, so important that you do that because that replenishes you, that fills you up with what you need to keep going. Because as we've said time and time again, we only have a finite amount of energy and we need to keep sustaining that and, and making sure that we do get a good refill. Otherwise you're, you're literally going to be spent and that's, you're no good for anybody.
Karen Swim, APR [08:18.108]-[10:42.409]: And you know, I think a lot of PR pros are probably empaths. And so we take on, we feel more deeply than other people do. We want to solve everyone's problems. I also think that in this day and age, you really do have to find a way to create a boundary between you and the problems of corporate America.
You really just have to go in with the mindset of, I just want to do good work. I want to do good work and that's what I'm here for. I'm not here to fix this person's issue with, you know, the C-suite. I'm not here to navigate the spats that are happening between the executives. I'm here to do good work. And when you keep the focus on doing good work and navigating that path and not getting caught up in the politics that are happening in the workforce, you really will have a healthier balance and you won't be taking that stress on.
And again, this is something that does require you to actively manage it. It's not something that will passively happen. You have to really be intentional about being in that place where you're like, you know what, these are my clients, this is a job, and while I might like these people as human beings, their problems are really not my problems, and I'm not here to solve that.
I'm here to do great work, and sometimes that even means calling things out and being very direct with clients, you know, and saying things like, you know, I really don't want to get involved in whatever is going on between you and this person. But tell me, you know, how I can achieve the goal. You know, I'm here to do great work for you, and I'm excited about that. Tell me what steps I need to take to ensure that I am fulfilling that role and doing what's expected of me. And keep the focus on your work, not on the personality clashes and all the things that are happening. And those things are happening more frequently because, as you said, Michelle, we have fewer people. But the work still has to get done. We have people that have been forced back into working situations that they don't like We have people that are in a job not because they are excited about it and want to do it but just because they feel stuck and they're like, yeah, I need the money here and they just They don't want to be there.
Michelle Kane [10:42.409]-[11:26.009]: It's so true. So true and it and I think a big step in achieving that those boundaries is is having a serious conversation with yourself What can I control here and what can't I we can't control how? how clients think or how you know their counterparts think or what they do or we truly can't so control what you can control and Let the rest Just let the rest roll out there really isn't there's only so much power that we have so a lot of sometimes the you know, the mental grinding that we might do, it really isn't productive and it just wears you out.
Karen Swim, APR [11:26.009]-[12:46.243]: And I would say, I want to make an important distinction because this comes up a fair bit. That doesn't mean that you're not, that you're ignoring when the toxicity is turned towards you. So you don't, you are not obligated to stay in client relationships that do not serve you, where people are abusive to you, where people are undermining you in spite of your best efforts.
We're not, I always say, forget about the money, save yourself and walk away because doors will open for you. You will figure it out. Things will be fine. And, but we are saying that when there's that internal, like the internal power plays and some of the things that are happening between other people, we can not engage in those situations and keep the focus on the work and getting the work done and ignore the rest of it.
And I've learned, because I'm, you know, I've had to encounter those situations in recent times as well. And I've learned to just have a good sense of humor about it. And take a step back and go, wow, you know, it makes me more grateful then I'm not in corporate America. It's a great reminder and it's actually very motivating. Like, girl, stay on your business development game because that life is not for me. I am not about that life.
Michelle Kane [12:46.243]-[12:51.985]: Yeah, I don't wanna deal with that. I'm so glad I don't have to sit next to that person.
Karen Swim, APR [12:51.985]-[13:01.827]: Some of the stressors that people that work traditionally, I applaud you. You are braver than I am because I could not.
Michelle Kane [13:04.202]-[13:08.926]: Yeah, a lot of times it's really just silly stuff. They're just like, really?
Karen Swim, APR [13:08.926]-[13:10.448]: It's always silly stuff.
Michelle Kane [13:10.448]-[13:15.272]: Come on now. I think someone needs to fill the candy jar in your office because you guys are being so cranky.
Karen Swim, APR [13:15.900]-[13:58.113]: Yeah, in the big scheme of things, it really never amounts to much. And, and I mean, I understand that people, and sometimes they feel like they're fighting for their livelihood, for their careers, for their growth and opportunity. But again, as solos, we can remove ourselves from, you know, trying to fix that. That's not our job. We are not their career counselors. I know that sometimes We've stepped into that role, but in today's day and age, again, keep the focus on the work and doing great work. Keep your positive attitude and don't let these people affect you because life is going to life for all of us and we have enough on our plates. We don't need to take on extra.
Michelle Kane [13:58.728]-[14:39.072]: No, we certainly do. We certainly do. And gosh, well, we hope this has been helpful to you today. If it has, please share it around. That's the biggest compliment you can pay us. And hit us up at soloprpro.com. We always want to hear from you. Tell us your fun experiences. Maybe we'll share them in the next episode and say, oh my gosh, can you believe that? And you know what, and how you handled it. We would love to hear some stories from out there. And you know, if there's anything you want us to cover, please also let us know. Go over to soloprpro.com and let us know about that. And until next time, thanks so much for listening to That Solo Life.